Friday, February 22, 2008

Salty Tears - Yet Trusting Him

Today was an odd day ... I had like 20 min. alone with no other person (or personS) was around. I've realized as our older kids have gotten, well ... older ... that my "alone time" is more and more scarce. Normally this is just fine. I thoroughly enjoy time with my boys while sis is napping and we can do "older people" stuff.

But lately I've realized just how numb I'm becoming. If I so much as wear half a frown, my little girly is asking ... "MOMMY!, WHAT'S WRONG???". Well honey ... I have NO idea what tomorrow is gonna bring for 20 and a half weeks now and it could make a momma's heart go bonkers! (be assured, I do not tell her this)

So what happened when I finally had that alone time? T-E-A-R-S. Tears??? Okay, they are much more salty than I ever remember. Made me realize just how long it's been since I've had a good cry. This is a good thing to do once in a while by the way. :)

Anyway, an old Twila Paris song came to my mind. It's one that so often would through the years when I'd be facing an especially trying time. Perhaps you know it. It was clear back at our MBI days that we saw her in concert. Seems ages ago ... gee, I guess it was!

Tonight after everyone headed to bed I did a search for it and found this video. What's even better is that she goes into another great song next that is truly the cry of us waiting families .... "Do I trust you, Lord?". There are so many unknowns wrapped up in adoption, especially international adoption.

I have nothing profound to share ... just that I am SO thankful that my heavenly father knows right where I'm at. He knows that I trust Him, even when I don't have answers. And when I struggle to trust Him ... all I have to do is look to Him and He'll show me how.


familyinflux said...

Hang in there! This process is so difficult...It does make the heart and mind go crazy! I think we are all learning some valuable lessons. It's just hard to keep that in perspective. At least, for me that has been the case. We are hoping you get that great news soon.

the albertsons said...

Sweet Shelly... thanks for sharing those songs! I especially like the second one. So fitting, eh? I'm reminded, after every agonizing day of waiting, that I do indeed trust Him, even when it is hard and seems impossible. I just thank God every day for holding on to my heart and never letting go!
hope your weekend is going well... ours is going great :).

Drew Carey Show said...

I totally remember that song! I will trust you Lord, though I don't know why; I will trust you Lord, till the day I die. I will trust you Lord when I'm blind with pain; you were God before and you'll never change... Am I getting the lyrics right? Holy cow! I haven't thought of that song in probably two decades! Wishing you much peace and joy during your wait... XOXO Carey

Farmboy and Buttercup said...

Today I feel the tears are close by, too. Just came back from a meeting at church about starting an orphans ministry and as I get more connected to God's heart for justice with the oppressed, of course including orphans, I get an ache in my stomach that I think just may be a bag of tears.

Praying for us,

Kimberly Baggett said...

Those songs were such a welcomed "blast from the past"! I love Twila Paris...she has always written such heartfelt songs that minister to me. I share your ache and I am praying for all of us in the waiting stage. What precious blessings He has in store for us...soon!